Diary of a Convict (In my husbands words)

Well, it's been a week since my visit with C and the girls and still no letter. I know it's the mailroom here more than anything. I know deep down I can talk to myself about it, but I still feel the emptiness it causes me. I know I need to be stronger! I know that C needs me to be strong for her however I can. She deserves for her husband to be someone she can lean on. In my heart, I know I can't be 100% of what she needs but I can still be there for her. I still have the ability to give her something and show her how much I love her. I can still show her how important she is to me and how far I'll go to show her. So I'll try to be patient and not expect more than just what is. Does that make sense? I just try to be happy with what is and not trying to make more than that. Anyway, I'm ok day to day. I do feel that the days tend to bleed together at times, but I refuse to allow my life to pass by me like that. I want each day to matter somehow. I don't want to look back 20 years from now and only see a blackhole where these years are. That to me would be a waste. And in my past, I elected not to feel. Now I refuse to be numb! I want to feel the world around me. I am not afraid to shed a tear for loss, but all I'm also going to  be a man enough to hold my head up as I go through life. For better or worse!